It's Saturday morning AGAIN? Ugh. God, when are you going to send the man of my dreams into my life? Then HE can take out this blasted trash every week. Gosh, this is such a man's job. Did I do something to upset you? Can't you work with me here? You know how much I HATE this job! This would be SO much easier if I had a man in my life. Sigh


　


I have to go to a wedding alone....again?! God, c'mon...work with me here. You know how much this whole thing hurts me. I feel so...empty. Why won't you give me the same happiness you just gave my best friend? Gah.




God, why don't you just take away my lust for other women?! Can't you just make the weather cold again so I'm not so tempted anymore. Honestly, I don't even understand why you made warm weather to begin with--you knew one day females would walk around half naked. Can't you just give me a wife to help fulfill my sexual desires?! I don't want to sin so much..God please... just give me a wife.



I suppose if you're reading this you either are single or you want to understand us singles better. I pray that this blog will help answer the big questions all singles ask--how do I be single and content? What does that look like? If God is calling me to a life of singleness, will I be looked on as a reject, or as an opportunity for would-be matchmakers in the church? What about sexual temptation? What purpose could my singleness fulfill? Does God really call people to a life of singleness, or is it due to a flaw? Am I a left-over or second best?

While I was doing research on the topic, I walked up and down multiple Christian book stores. I read every title, of every book, in every store I came across. What I found greatly disturbed me. Instead of finding books on how to be single and content, there were books on "how to find Mr. Right, not Mr. Wrong", "how to prepare yourself while you're single for the rest of your life with your husband", "How to attract the man of your dreams". Books like those imply that as a single person I'm half a cookie and that all of my problems will be fixed once I get married.

I already felt rejected, incomplete, ugly, and inferior to married people. I didn't want to subject myself to a book telling me that ultimate fulfillment comes from marriage, and that my singleness is a disease that could be fixed. I wanted to find out biblically what singleness means, and biblically how I could fill this feeling of emptiness and loneliness that I felt so often.

But that's all I was finding--was books that were reinforcing those negative thoughts. And I wasn't just finding it in the bookstore--I was finding it with my family, my Christian friends, and from single church groups in the area. It felt like every time I turned around someone was asking me when I was going to settle down, or telling me "Oh, that's okay honey. You're still young. You have time to find a guy".

The philosophy being sold to singles today, not just by the church but also by family and friends, is that you're nobody until somebody loves you. We're led to believe that all of your current problems--loneliness, emotional instability, lack of purpose/direction, sexual frustrations--will all be fixed once we get married. Our singleness is treated like a disease that not only can be fixed, but one that needs to be fixed.

Because singles have bought into this idea, we place all of our dreams and aspirations in the hope that tomorrow brings. We aren't able to find purpose or meaning in the situations and people we come in contact with every day. Our life becomes stale and unfulfilling, relationships with friends lack a certain depth and care because real involvement is resolved for a fantasy relationship down the road. Church activity grinds to a halt, except for those which we might "him"/"her".

This is NOT the way God designed singleness to be. Instead of us sitting around moaning about our loneliness, he has given us a precious gift of being able to commit 100% to knowing Him and responding to His call.

We are not half a cookie, missing our better half. Instead, in Christ we have been made complete (Col 2:10). Today, right this moment, you have the ability to serve God. He has given you talents and skills that He wants you to use to share the gospel. Don't let the philosophy of the world slow you down as you continue to lean on Him. Live for God with all that you are. Right here, right now. Do it!

Throughout the rest of this blog, I will tackle these hard questions that we ask ourselves. As the blog continues, please feel free to email me any additional questions, or comments that you have. I pray that together, in Christ, we can become single and content.